I nodded. ‘And one for Swift. He has his own bow and arrows, but as you said before, an axe for chopping ice may be more to the point.’
Chade sighed. ‘And that is where my invention runs out. I have no idea what we’ll be facing, Fitz. We’ll have food and tents and weapons and some tools. But beyond that, I’ve no idea what we’ll need.’ He poured himself a stingy dollop of brandy. ‘I’ll not deny that I take pleasure in knowing that Peottre is just as dismayed by all this as I am. He and the Narcheska will be accompanying us. Bloodblade is coming on the ship, but I don’t think he’s staying for the dragon-slaying.’ He smirked sarcastically as he called it that, doubting it would be any such thing. ‘It’s damnably inconvenient all round, this giving a task the rules of a contest. They’ve limited us to two message birds as well, but to be used only to summon the ship back when we are ready to leave the island. They’ll be in the keeping of our chaperones.’
His words pushed my mind into another direction. ‘Do you suppose the bird you sent has reached Kettricken yet?’
He gave me a pitying look. ‘You know there’s no way for us to tell. Wind or storms, a hawk … so many things can delay or stop a bird. A message bird flies only toward its home and mate. There is no way for Kettricken to send word back to us.’ Delicately he added, ‘Have you thought of trying to reach Burrich?’
‘Last night,’ I replied. To his lifted eyebrow, I replied, ‘Nothing. I felt like a moth battering at a lantern glass. I can’t reach him. Years ago, I used to be able to catch glimpses of them, of Molly and Burrich. Not a mind-to-mind touch, but … well, it’s no use. That’s gone. I suspect that Nettle was my focus for it, though I did not see through her eyes.’
‘Interesting,’ he said softly, and I knew he was squirrelling away that bit of information for possible future use. ‘But you cannot reach Nettle?’
‘No.’ I boxed the word in, refusing to let any emotion ride on it. I reached across the table and picked up the brandy bottle.
‘Go easy on that,’ Chade warned me.
‘I’m nowhere near drunk,’ I retorted irritably.
‘I didn’t say you were,’ he responded mildly. ‘But we haven’t much left. And we may want it more on Aslevjal than we do here.’
I set the bottle down as Dutiful came back into the room. Thick trailed him, a sullen look on his face. ‘I’m not going,’ Thick announced as he came in.
‘Yes, you are,’ Dutiful responded stubbornly.
‘Not.’
‘Are.’
‘Enough!’ Chade interjected as if they were seven-year-olds. ‘Not!’ Thick breathed as he sat down with a thump at the table.
‘Yes, you are,’ Dutiful insisted. ‘Unless you want to stay here all by yourself. All alone, with no one to talk to. All by yourself, just sitting in this room until we come back.’
Thick thrust out his chin, lower lip and tongue all at once. He crossed his short thick arms on his chest and cast Dutiful a measuring glance. ‘I don’t care. Not alone, anyway. I’ll just talk to Nettle. She’ll tell me stories.’
I sat up with a jolt. ‘You can talk to Nettle.’
He glared at me, as if he had just realized that in needling Dutiful he had given something away to me. He swung his feet. ‘Maybe. But you can’t.’
I knew I could not afford to lose my temper with him, or push him too hard.
‘Because you are stopping me from talking to her?’
‘No. She just doesn’t want to talk to you.’ He measured me as he said this, perhaps to see if this idea bothered me more than the thought that he could block me from her. He was right. It did. I sent a tiny, private plea to Dutiful. Find out for me. Is she safe?
Thick’s eyes flickered from me to Dutiful and back again. The Prince kept silent. He knew as well as I did that we had been caught Skilling. Anything he said to Thick right now would be suspect. And the little man had not been pleased with Dutiful to begin with. I picked at that thought. ‘So. You’re not going with us when we leave, Thick?’
‘No. No more ships.’
It was cruel. I did it anyway. ‘Then how are you going to get home? Going on a ship is the only way to get home.’
He looked doubtful. ‘You aren’t going home. You’re going to that dragon island.’
‘To start with, yes. But after that, we’re going home.’
‘And you’ll come back here and get Thick first.’
‘Maybe,’ Dutiful conceded.
‘Maybe, if we are still alive,’ Chade embroidered. ‘We had been counting on your help. If you stay here and we go on without you …’ The old man shrugged. ‘The dragon may kill all of us.’
‘Serve you right,’ Thick replied darkly. But I thought we had put a crack in his resolve. He seemed to be thinking as he sat scowling at his pudgy hands clasped at the table’s edge.
Chade spoke slowly and consideringly. ‘If Nettle is telling Thick stories to keep him company, then I don’t think she is in any great danger, Fitz.’
If he had hoped to provoke a comment from Thick, he failed. The little man gave a disgusted ‘hmph’ and settled back in his chair, arms crossed firmly on his chest.
‘Let it go,’ I suggested softly to all of them. When I tried to think why Nettle might be so angry with me as to break off all contact, there were far too many reasons. Yet, I told myself sternly, to know she was alive and angry with me was preferable to thinking that a dragon might have decimated her and her family. I longed for certainty about the situation, and knew I would not get it. In my heart, I wished speed to the messenger bird we had sent. If Nettle must be angry, let her at least be angry in a safe place.
Little else was said that evening. Three of us went over our packing, and Chade spent time muttering worriedly over a cargo manifest. Thick made a great show of not packing. At one point, Dutiful began to gather up Thick’s clothes and stuff them into a bag, but when Thick dumped it out on the floor again, they both left them there. They were still there when we all went to bed.
I did not sleep well. Now that I knew Nettle was purposely ignoring me, I could find and feel the shape of her barrier. More annoying was knowing that Thick was observing me as I groped, and taking pleasure in my inability to break through it. If he had not, perhaps I would have made a more serious effort to get into Nettle’s dreams. Instead, I gave it up and tried to slide into true sleep. Instead, I had a restless night of brief dreams of all the people I’d hurt or failed, from Burrich to Patience, with the most vivid ones being of the Fool’s accusing stare.